The Terrible Secret of Bluewater

The Terrible Secret of Bluewater

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It’s a lovely day, and we’re off to Bluewater Shopping Centre to celebrate my wife’s forthcoming birthday. We pop into the Disney store, Boots, Paperchase, Starbucks (Coffee Republic was full) and even Waterstones (just to check that my books were prominently displayed).

Then it happens.

I’m on my way to the toilets when I spot this door:

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It’s an oddly angular, misshapen little portal…and it…

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Is 2000AD Worth Buying?

Is 2000AD Worth Buying?

Is 2000AD actually any good? Have you ever picked up a copy? Were you once an avid reader, like me? If so, is it worth going back? Well, from my point of view, yes and no. I guess if I’m pushed on this point, I’d turn in more of a yes than a no vote, but then I’m always contradicting myself….so what’s my word really worth, when it comes down to it?

Enough guff. Let’s take a look at the latest…

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Minimum Wageslave

david-age19

During the mid nineties, I worked at a Thanet estate agent that was so tiny that a man once wandered in, glanced around him and asked where he could find the button for the first floor. He thought my office was a lift. I’m not sure what kind of demented ar*ehole sets up a desk workspace inside a lift, but I was laughing so much that I didn’t give the situation much thought.

He was right.

It was…

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B*tchfingers

I’m at Costa, taking selfies (see below) and leafing through pictures of the wonderful cork my friends Sarah and Chris bought me for my last birthday (go to the end of the article to see this disgusting, but epic, piece of wine-stopping merchandise) when Scott arrives.

Let me tell you about Scott.

Selfie...at the Costa Westwood Drive Thru (best coffee house in Thanet)

Selfie…at the Costa Westwood Drive Thru (best coffee house in Thanet). Occasionally, the sun shines…

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Dental Wonderland

Evie....who thinks she's in the Caribbean.

Evie….who thinks she’s in the Caribbean.

Tiny kids have no idea what’s going on at the dentist. No, really: I mean it. We took Evie recently, and she walked around the entire situation as if she was under the impression that it was some sort of fun day at the madhouse.

Think about it….

You arrive in a very clinical and sterile office environment where a rather stern lady takes down some details…

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Homebase: The Best Play Area in England?

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Myself and my son recreating the ‘Han Solo in Carbonite’ scene from Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. NOTE: Bast says he is ‘Yoda’ in this shot.

I hate people who let their kids run riot in shopping centres, especially when they’re effectively treating these places as if they’re soft play areas. I’ve seen children climbing over booths in cafes, pulling entire racks of clothes over in…

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ladyarlawyn:

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